Hi there. I am a chode.
I don’t go for location change within the venue with every girl I approach because I think it’s not going well enough.
I don’t try to extract every girl that I approach out of the venue because I think it’s not going well enough.
I don’t try to kiss and get physical with every girl I approach because I think it’s not going well enough.
…I tried these things a few times, but the girls said ‘no’.. So I figured it would be better not to try unless I was more sure that they’d be OK with it. I think a lot about these things…
I don’t have a way to initiate physicality or kissing other than just waiting until it feels right.
I don’t go for numbers with every girl I approach because I think the approach has to be “solid” for her not to flake me.
I don’t get an average of 15 to 30 numbers a week like a normal guy as a result. Gurus say they only get 2 numbers a week to get laid, and I think I’m at that level.
I don’t keep track of the girls numbers that I took when I got home, by writing down a sentence or two worth of details, so I can’t remember which number belongs to which girl.
I don’t have any idea of what I would do with a girl if she came out for a day2.
I don’t have a plan of where I would extract a girl to if she agreed to leave the club with me. I figure I’d just say “Let’s go back to my place.” I don’t know what I should push for.
I don’t call and follow up hard with every girl whose number I get, and refuse to go out until I have called and left messages with every number on my list. I just go out and gather more numbers, instead of viewing going out as a reward for already having called all my numbers.
I give up on a girl if she doesn’t call back first time.
I give up on a girl if she doesn’t agree to a second meet the first time.
I don’t use the girls who are flaking me as a chance to practice my conversational skills when they pick up the phone. In fact, I’m not a good conversationalist on the phone because I don’t get enough practice at it.
I don’t realize that most girls you approach will give you their number regardless of if it went well or not, and even if I do realize it I figure that it’s wood anyway so I don’t try.
I don’t try to isolate every girl that I go on day 2s with.
I don’t even have a plan of how to get a girl isolated, such as something at my house to give a reason to go back there.
I don’t carry condoms with me when I go out because it isn’t in my reality that I can get laid.
I don’t understand what a cool guy looks like, because I walk around in a chode trance all day instead of looking at all the cool people around me and thinking about what makes them cool.
I think that only PUAs are cool, and that I can’t learn from all the more normal people I’m seeing all the time because they aren’t “sargers” and I can’t distinguish what a naturally compelling personality looks like.
I don’t identify with cool people, and even dislike them because I think they’re conceited.
I view every interaction as a chance to take value from people. When I read posts, I complain that I didn’t get the details that I wanted or that the paragraphs weren’t right or that it was too short or long. When I talk to bouncers, I just want to know if their club is good instead of joking around with them and thinking about how I’m making them feel as I talk to them. And when I see PUAs with their girls I write posts about how they aren’t hot enough for my high standards and how they didn’t look cool themselves, because I have such a low and insignificant view of myself that I implicitly think that I couldn’t hurt their feelings and even if I did I’d like it because then they’d relate to how I feel. I don’t view interactions as a way to make people feel good or to express creativity, but instead as a way to take value so that I don’t sink.
I like to criticize things because I don’t view myself as having value to offer in any other regard, and I figure being critical is like pole-vaulting off of someone else. When I read the internet I love to write posts like “Read the fucking manual” or “this is not advanced enough for the advanced forum”, and it has never occurred to me that even if I’m right, cool guys would never waste their lives posting this pointless shit, and I don’t realize that these kinds of actions are implicitly reinforcing to my subconscious mind that I’m a chode with nothing substantial to offer.
I like to think I’m being manipulated by paragraphs like the one above, to delude myself that my validation is even worth having a conspiracy to get in the first place. I am fully convinced that my hater personality is justified and that the world is a fucked up place and that I’m just calling it like I see it. The world conspires against me because I am significant. I always find the negative, and I’m closed off to learning because seeing things as they are would be too painful.
I go out to “sarge” and because of that I’m in a logical state the entire time I’m out.
I don’t know how to have a non-logical conversation, because it’s outside my comfort zone. When I hang around with community guys, I like to talk game like a nerd scientist. In fact, when I meet other community guys I talk about GAME because I don’t know how to relate to them on non- logical topics.
I am disconnected from reality, so I can’t understand what game looks like because even when I see it I can’t process it through my chode fog.
I also don’t want to try anything new, like keeping track of my eye contact and voice projection and deliberate use of humour and good energy in ALL my interactions, because I’d have to break out of my chode trance and because unless I’m SARGING I don’t view it as an interaction to use good social skills in.
I blame the people who should have given me the magic pill I wanted for my failure even though I have not done any of these things.